I love my kids dearly, but there are things I just won’t do as a mother. Here’s a letter to my children explaining those things…
I love you dearly, but with the many expectations put on me as a mother, I thought it was only fair to explain what things I just won’t do for you.
I have to draw the line somewhere. I’ve tried and failed many times, so I’m ready to wipe my hands of certain expectations. My time needs to be spent improving my mama strengths! You understand, right?
Well, maybe this list will help. Here’s what I won’t do for you…
I won’t make homemade breakfasts. I’m sorry you have to eat so many bowls of Cheerios and frozen waffles (sometimes actually frozen if we are running late). But I just can’t start my day in my least favorite place in the house (unless pouring me some Chai). And I don’t want to wake up early so that you can say you don’t like whatever I have made you.
I won’t do regularly scheduled Pinterest crafts. If I do a craft, it is plastered all over my social media because that’s how rarely it happens, and the world needs to see. Sure, we mess around with coloring crayons, stickers, and markers, but an actual craft with a purpose, like your handprints transformed into an animal or anything involving glitter, requires a special occasion/holiday.
I won’t be your only entertainment. I love you guys, but I was not put on this earth to always entertain you. I am sure my hilarious jokes and daily musical improv made you think otherwise, but if you’re bored, find something to do! Go outside or, better yet, play with the dozens of toys you own that collect dust while you sit waiting for me to make the first move. I promise, your imagination is incredible. I embraced it in my childhood, and so can you!
I won’t be the mom volunteer at your school. I have the utmost respect for the parents who get super involved volunteering in the classrooms and planning events/fundraisers, but I can hardly remember to send you in the right “color of the week” outfit on Fridays. I think I should just admit right now I’m not cut out to be the volunteer classroom parent. Don’t worry; there are still plenty who are!
I won’t solve all your problems. Do I hate to see you hurt? Absolutely! It crushes me. But digging you out of every trench will teach you nothing. I can’t pull you through the darkness, but I can walk by you and guide you as you learn your way. Trust me, you’ll be glad when you’re able to navigate your adult life easier knowing how to get successfully to the other side of pain and heartache.
I hope you haven’t dismissed me as a terrible mother at this point. Because there are many things I will do for you.
Here are a few examples:
I will always have dance parties. If you were to ask me what our family time would look like, I would never have said it would include dance parties. But, it does! And I love it! Dance parties are never optional; they are a must.
I will always have family nights. Yes, when you get older you would probably like to move this to the list above, but family nights are important! Disney movies, pizza, popcorn, and a blanket fort? Yes, please! I’ll never say no!
I will always listen. No matter what it is you think or feel, I will listen to you. You will be heard, and I will always long for this type of connection with you (no matter how old you are)! Sure, right now your big problems include picking up your toys or crying because you really wanted chicken and rice for dinner instead of those “disgusting” vegetables, but I’ll listen now because I want you to come to me with the big things later.
I will always affirm you. In this home, you will know you are worthy, valued, enough, loved, and cherished. And on top of that, you will understand how you shine.
I will always love you. There is nothing you could ever do or say that would diminish my love or make me stop loving you. The piece of my heart given to you the moment you were mine is yours forever. I may not be the Betty Crocker, Pinterest, or PTO mom, but I will be there the best way I know how–-as your sounding board, encourager, and supporter.
Always trying my best
Contributed to The Huffington Post