I come from an extremely tight-knit family. Have you ever seen a show called Parenthood? Yeah, it’s kind of like that. And I love it! Growing up, we always had dinner together, went to each other’s activities, and celebrated every milestone with genuine support and encouragement. We still do, although dinner has turned into one night a week now that we are grown and out of the house.
Though always close, I grew up feeling different. Like as much as I wanted to fit into the family, I just didn’t — or so it seemed. When the women in my family wanted to shop and accessorize their outfits, I wanted to sit and have deep conversations. While my family members talked about the recent football or basketball stats of their favorite teams, I barely knew what team played what sport. While my parents and siblings laid out on the beach for each family vacation, I wanted to either learn more about the locals or travel somewhere different each year. I could go on about the differences, but you get the point.
In my mind, I saw a uniformed tribe of people, and I was the one running around the outside of the circle trying to figure out how to make myself look the same and stand out a little less.
Until I stopped trying…
In high school was when I sought refuge in an unhealthy relationship. He made me feel “normal” and seemed to “love” my differences. I sadly rejected my family for a few years because I felt more like myself when I was with my high school boyfriend and didn’t want to feel like the black sheep of the family any longer. I blamed my family for causing me to feel different when really it wasn’t their fault.
To be honest, the issue wasn’t my family or my unhealthy relationship in this regard. The issue was my lack of identity. I didn’t know anything about myself other than that I felt alone due to my differences.
Don’t we all want to feel understood? If we don’t fit in, we blame other people for misunderstanding us, or we get down on ourselves for being different. I think this is also why social media’s “personality quizzes” are so popular. I’m not talking about the research based ones written by experts in the field. I’m talking about the tests that tell you who you are based on the colors you picked in a series of pictures or based on the “look alike” movie character that was picked after answering 8-10 pointless personality questions. These social media quizzes are popular because everyone seeks a better understanding of themselves.
“I am this way because…”
We need a “why” for our behaviors and personalities, and we always feel better to read those descriptions that seem to fit us like our favorite sweaters — cozy and familiar.
Searching for this “why” was what gave me the incentive to delve into life coaching. It was the process that took me from “I’m different, and this is bad,” to “Everyone was created uniquely and here’s how to uncover the best version of myself.”
In addition to figuring out my strengths, weaknesses, values, purpose, etc. I was able to approach my family with the freedom to be me (that they allowed all along), and I started to see them for their positive differences as well. This perspective has even overflowed into my parenting style. My family is no longer a group of people who were my opposites; they are indeed unique individuals themselves. I went from seeing them wearing identical uniforms to now wearing crowns of jewels representing each of their strengths.
Life coaching certainly helps people get on track to reach their vision and goals for their lives, but many people don’t realize it’s also a process that helps people gain a better understanding of themselves and those around them.
Being coached is like unwrapping a gift; it’s so much better once opened and explored than it ever was in its pretty ribbons and decorative paper. You are enough the way you are, but don’t forget to explore those inner parts of yourself that will give you the permission and freedom to unapologetically ROCK your differences in the face of perceived misunderstanding.
You aren’t going to ruin a beautiful package by opening it. You are going to reap the benefits of what’s inside!
As a life coach, I want to walk with you as you discover what’s inside. It’s literally my favorite thing in the world to watch people transform from living safe and comfortable lives to blossoming into people who no longer set self-sabotaging limitations, who understand their creative capabilities, and who STOP PLAYING SMALL!
If you’ve ever considered hiring a life coach, please reach out to me. We spend our money in so many ways that don’t benefit our lives, so don’t hesitate to invest in yourself!
Stop relying on those social media personality quizzes to give you the affirmation and comfort you need, and, instead, hire a life coach! If not me, I would be happy introduce you to a dozen others I would highly recommend!
You deserve to feel empowered enough to claim your value and transform your future.
Click here for more information on my life coaching services
**I never want cost to get in the way of positive transformation, so we can always negotiate what works for both parties involved. And remember, right now all my earnings go straight to our adoption fund.**