This is a guest post written by Lexi Koch — an intuitive life coach — about the power of the inner critic that tries to wreck all of our lives!
You can be so awkward.
You should have been more accommodating.
You’re going to majorly miss out.
You’re just not well.
Yes, yes, yes. The familiar rhetoric of my inner critic. When I believe it, I feel shameful and at fault — wrong and unworthy.
Let me make sure we’re all on the same page here about what the inner critic actually is. You know that part of you that is saying and thinking things about you that YOU WOULD NEVER think, no less say, to ANYONE ELSE in the world? Yup, THAT’S your inner critic. That part of you that LOVES to say you aren’t worthy of love or having your needs met; you should be doing a ton more than you’re doing, and you have made and will make too many mistakes. Sound familiar yet?
Yup, THAT’S your inner critic.
It’s fair for me to say there isn’t a client (or woman) I’ve met who doesn’t experience this inner critic’s voice LOUD and CLEAR most days.
I can hear it when my lovely clients say things like “I should have gotten this done sooner, but I’m so slow at everything,” or “I did everything wrong. I said the wrong things and acted the wrong way,” or “If I would just stop freaking out all the time, maybe I’d be able to handle this all better.”
Why we think being cruel and belittling ourselves is acceptable really baffles me. When we believe the stories of our inner critics, we generally feel anxious, hunched, small, scared, much less than, not good enough, wrong and unworthy.
After reading that, don’t go get down on yourself for having this inner critic voice within YOU. THAT WOULD JUST BE YOUR INNER CRITIC TALKING ANYWAYS!!! We ALL have it. So let’s start making peace with it now. We all carry around this ego that’s trying to separate us and show us how much harder we need to try, how much smaller we should be, and how much we should tone down our needs.
As soon as I learned my inner critic, her voice, demeanor and the feel of her in my being, I noticed that I didn’t necessarily have to listen to her in the same way anymore.
I stopped believing everything she had to say about and to me. I started questioning her a lot more, and I’ve seen some big shifts within me. Now when I’m feeling low, I actually look around my life for her and generally see what’s happened to get me to this low point. It’s usually that some situation I don’t feel great about has occurred, and my inner critic is there scaring the crap out of me to feel worse and worse and worse.
This shift has me so at home in my body and my being. My confidence and love for myself are at an all time high! My trust in the flow and unfolding of my life feels amazing, and I’m making many decisions based on what my inner compass says instead of my fears and doubts.
I want you all to be on the lookout for your inner critics this week. You’ll know yours is active when you feel “off,” when you feel bad about your words or actions, when you want or need something but feel wrong for wanting or needing it, or when you put yourself down in any way at all.
Be on the lookout, and when you meet your inner critic, know it’s just an old friend and you have the power to change that relationship.
Awareness is the first step to any transformation!
Tell us in the comments, how will YOU change your response toward your inner critic?