I’ve always admired tribes of women who do life together. They laugh at the same things, build each other up, and see each other through the best/worst of times.
I have been blessed with two best friends. One since elementary and one since high school. We have a history, loyalty, and genuine connection. Both are my go-to people, and both will always be a part of my tribe. But this tribe is open, and my inner circle is never closed. I have enjoyed adding more special women to my tribe–my people. Each member is valuable in different ways, and I wouldn’t trade my handful of close women friends for the world.
I’ve noticed when I am around others, I often find myself in the outer instead of the inner circle. Tribes are meant for comfort and adding someone new makes it uncomfortable. People like me take awhile to understand, go deep too fast, and require a large amount of grace. So I wanted to write a letter to my idea of a tribe and encourage you to think about your own.
First of all, this is a hard season to be my friend, so thanks for sticking around! My kids can’t wipe their own bottoms, and I’m on mom-duty 24/7 making meals, kissing boo boos, and tossing in my 1056th load of laundry for the day.
An actual adult conversation is hardly possible. You text and I may not respond for days. You call and I look at the screen and laugh while pressing ignore because I have a child screaming in my ear. I’ve cancelled plans for the fourth time because of morning tantrums or another sick kid. And I was late to your birthday party again this year.
But you’re still here!
If you’re in my tribe, you’re 100% genuine. I like real. With me, you don’t make it very far without it. I’m glad you can yell when you’re angry and cry when you’re sad. I’m thankful I can tell you my day was hard and complain for three hours and you never remind me about the millions of people who have it much worse than me. I already think about that all the time, and you know this.
You’ve seen me at my worst, and you didn’t run away. In fact, it drew us closer! When the doorbell rings, I don’t have to frantically dig through a drawer for my mask because it’s YOU on the other side. You acknowledge I’m a mess and actually love me for it. The best part is, you also say–me too!
Some inner circles grasp each other tightly around the waist or interlock fingers keeping everyone out. They fear inviting people in will mess up what they have. Sometimes they are satisfied with each other and don’t take the time to see the worth in an invitation.
We don’t do that.
Standing with arms open, we notice people. We see that there are people on the sidelines looking for a tribe. We tell them they are welcome here. They want to be known, truly, and we take the time to do that!
We keep our expectations of each other low and our grace high! Sure we value sincerity, love, and loyalty, but we don’t expect perfect children, clean homes, or a mirror version of ourselves. We love differences and have a “you do you” and “I’ll do me” mentality when it comes to them.
When another call is ignored, we smile and send a “You’re a great mama!” text. When we can smell the other one from across the room because showers just.aren’t.happening. we gather up the kiddos, offer a play date, and give each other space for self-care.
And when we are facing the biggest challenge of our lives, we carry that burden alongside each other. We hurt together, cry together, and we.don’t.leave.
We will change, grow, and fall through the years, but you are my people. I am forever grateful and forever here.
If you have a tribe, pass this along!
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