This past year felt like an ongoing breakdown. As I said in my When You Need A Fresh Start post, nothing particularly bad happened, but due to some health issues at the time, my mind was like a battlefield.
My value of authenticity led me to write posts about bits and pieces of my breakdown such as the loneliness and anxiety I wrestled with, but there are many feelings that went on that I haven’t yet been given the words to explain.
Fear, doubts, inadequacy, abandonment, and more plagued me. As a result, I took my inner light and hid it for awhile because I was afraid to claim power and worth while I felt defeated and alone. Truth became distorted and my mind controlled more of me than my heart. My heart knew the truth about my value and purpose, but my head told myself I wasn’t enough. So instead of sorting myself out, I chose distraction as my “drug” of choice (naturally). While most give themselves time to wallow in their mess a bit so they can navigate their way to the exit, I ran around in my own mess diverting my attention from one debris to another and ignoring the big picture.
Do you ever feel that way? As if you obviously know you have things to work through, but instead, you keep yourself busy. Or maybe you are a wallower but just never look for your way out!
A couple months ago I finally decided that distractions were not getting me anywhere, and I made the choice to take action and look for my exit. Once my personal health issues were tackled, I felt like a completely different person as if I had once been in a dark and suffocating cocoon that was now letting in light. I immediately took the time to stretch my wings and see what they could do once finally free, and I’m proud to say these wings are ready to rock this next year!
Be ready to hear my rallying cry, because I’m not going to be defined by the behaviors and feelings of the past. And you shouldn’t either! We don’t have to remain idle in our mess. Sure, it always exists, but we have a choice to let our breakdown lead us to a breakthrough where we can see the light again.
So this next year, instead of holding onto the past, celebrate who you have become and continue pursuing positive growth. Let your breakdown be the path to your breakthrough, and let it teach you, shape you, and make you STRONG!
What do you need to let go before you enter this next year? Tell me in the comments!
Also, if you need a reminder this coming year that tells you how capable and strong you are, let me introduce you to Downs Ups & Teacups’ latest mug…
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