I’m a fighter — always have been. Not in the physical sense (probably obvious) but in the way I approach life. Limitations are kind of a joke in my mind. Sure, I notice them, and sometimes they scare me, but I don’t let them dictate whether or not I will move forward. Tackling hard things is my jam.
Juggling three, four, five important projects at one time feeds the parts of me that desires variety and adventure. My purpose isn’t to look productive or accomplished, but that’s most likely the thoughts of those looking into my life from the outside — at least that’s what I’ve been told. What people don’t see is the over-extended, always wanting to escape, and ongoing restlessness I feel inside.
What I have recently discovered is that these feelings aren’t from fear of being weak or fear of failure, the issue is from where I find my strength: myself.
Drowning in projects?
I’ll stay up later!
I’ll fix them!
Need to work on me and make some changes?
I’ll set more goals and raise my personal expectations!
Called by God to adopt at the worst possible time?
Sure, but I’ll keep my plate full throughout the entire process!
All these are great short-term responses, but the other night as I was lying in bed feeling defeated, fearful, and anxious, I realized that I needed to get to the root of my behaviors. I was reminded that the fuel I have been using was running out and that the fuel I needed could only be found in Jesus.
He is the long term solution to my high energy approach to life.
He is the only strength that truly doesn’t have restrictions or limitations.
And He is the only healthy impulse I should be actively pursuing.
When He’s my focus, the rest naturally falls into place — in a healthier way. Who am I to think my life can be tackled and fixed on my own? Sure, God has fully equipped me with the intelligence, capabilities, and resources I need, but the most important part of the equation is His partnership that He offers freely.
I refuse to change the core of who I am because that’s who God created me to be, but what I can do is shift my perspective from thinking I have to fight alone to resting easier knowing that I have the ultimate Fighter on my side.
Maybe you don’t struggle with a fighter’s mentality or taking on too much, but perhaps you are trying to live out who you were created to be while forgetting about the Creator in the process. He’s the one who takes the outer shell and fills you with the right elements to make you eternally strong and durable for what He has called you to do.
Tell me, what is it that you need to let go and let God?
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