We all look for confidence boosters on the hard days!
Do you often compare yourself to others? Do you ignore your accomplishments and tend to focus more on the negatives? When you receive compliments, do you refuse them? Would you rather talk negatively about yourself?
If you answered YES to any of these questions, then you need to think again. These are signs that your confidence is low.
Feeling and thinking positive all the time, your whole life might seem impossible. There will always be a point in your life when you feel down. And feeling down once in a while is a totally normal thing. However, feeling down most of the time is another. It indicates having a low level of confidence that could negatively impact your life.
But how can you be so confident in accomplishing your tasks when you are feeling down? Hard days do not only affect our relationship with others; it also affects the way we feel about things and the way we act and respond. Being confident is not constant. Confidence levels change, particularly during those times when all of the things you want to achieve are moving in the wrong direction. We all have “down times.” Even the most successful at business leadership coaching and the most confident-looking personalities have them.
What are these down times?
While traumatic childhood experiences greatly contribute to a person’s very poor self-esteem, negative life events later in life also undermine one’s self-worth.
There are a number of instances when your self-confidence gets shaky. And it is very important to know them so you can easily figure out how to help yourself or your loved one and get back into shape.
Poor performance in school, bullying, being neglected or abused, and feeling like you’re different are among the common causes of low self-esteem in children. And among grown-ups, being unemployed or losing a job are the most common confidence killers — particularly among men.
Other situations that could lead to negative feelings include poor health, unhealthy relationships, divorce, loneliness, discrimination, or something else going on within oneself at a deeper level.
What should you do to boost your confidence levels during these times?
1. Constantly remind yourself of your abilities, skills, and experiences.
During those down times, the quickest way to re-build your confidence is to look at your accomplishments.
- Create a list of your achievements (big and small) and another list of your strengths.
- Keep them in a safe and easy-to-reach place so you can read through them every morning before your day begins.
- It is also beneficial to read through them every night before you go to sleep so you feel more confident when you wake up the next day.
2. Accept your mind and body.
- There are certain things that your mind and body can do just now. Instead of beating yourself up, encourage and talk positively to yourself: “I can do better.” “I am amazing.”
- Think of failures as inevitable parts of learning and success. They are part of everyone’s life. Accept them wholly and learn how to overcome obstacles in life.
- It is only through accepting them that you can move forward and try again.
3. Promote feelings of well-being.
- To boost your confidence, do what makes you happy before anything else. It can be cooking your favorite recipe, reading your favorite story, watching your favorite show, or going for a walk outside.
- Practice gratitude. Appreciate and be thankful for the things you have. You may start keeping a gratitude journal. The more you see your blessings, the more you think and act positively.
- Laugh. Participate in fun, childish things from time to time. Play parlor games with your friends and family. Watch funny movies.
4. Get rid of things that foster negative thoughts and feelings.
- Monitor your thoughts. Challenge the negative ones and replace them. You can challenge automatic negative thoughts with the help of these four questions: Is it true? If so, can you verify it? When you believe such a thought, what is your reaction? Without such thought, who would you be?
- Avoid hanging around with negative people and those who don’t treat you right. Be with those who help you grow and see your worth.
5. Invest time in yourself.
- Do regular exercises. Eat good, nutritious food.
- Pamper yourself. Do yoga, go to a spa, or get a massage.
- Practice good hygiene and wear comfortable clothes.
Maintaining self-confidence takes great effort when the going gets tough. Before your confidence reaches the critical level, you should start telling yourself something different. Make new choices and unlearn your fear. You must choose to be positive and commit to eliminating negative thoughts and bad feelings. After all, confidence is a mindset that can be learned, practiced, and mastered.
Tell us in the comments what you do to boost your confidence on the hard days!
Salma is the first Arab female faculty member of CTI in the region, a certified Agile profile coach and trainer as well as a Cultural Intelligence Certified Advanced Facilitator. She works with a wide variety of individuals, ranging from directors and managers at Fortune 500 companies, entrepreneurs across various industries, and other professionals.