Adoption Fundraising Update: The Light At The End Of The Tunnel

I’ve been awake since 4 a.m. fighting what I felt in my gut I needed to write. So, of course, instead of just following my intuition, I gave God until 5 a.m. and said, “If I don’t fall back asleep by 5, I’ll write it.” It was a long hour, and here I am, ready to spill my guts — raw, afraid, and yet at peace. In December, the Holy Spirit took both my husband’s and my heart in His hands and plunged deeply into them a desire and urge to move forward with another adoption. From the beginning, we knew this was going to be different than the first time around. Our first adoption process was smooth up until travel (then it was another story), but we were introduced to our daughter through a picture within a month of beginning the process to adopt. God’s provision to get her into our arms so quickly made the actual waiting-process fairly easy compared to most. Fast forward to adoption process number two, and it’s been a roller coaster ride. Calls for kids who needed homes only to find out that wasn’t the plan and the direction of our journey shifts. Two […]

Continue Reading

Help Us To Simply Love

Some of you probably saw this post coming. If you follow this site closely, you will have seen that my family is currently on another adoption journey. We are eager, nervous, fearful, yet confident. And a huge part of the nerves and fear are directly related to finances. Asking family and friends for money is not one of my top 10 or even 1,000 things I want to do. “Are you prideful?” You might say that. However, after our first adoption process, I learned that I had to let go of that. I’m sad to admit this, but before entering into the adoption process the first time, I looked down on people who sent out “support letters” for their adoption. I thought to myself, “Why are you adopting a child if you are unable to pay the fees?” Clearly, I have been humbled since! In fact, if people were solely responsible for funding it all themselves, only a very few people would ever be able to consider adoption — leaving many more children without homes. We are sharing our journey with you and asking for your help. So, why should you pray about giving toward adoptions? Well, adoption is seen all throughout […]

Continue Reading

Adoption Attachment

Growing up, I had preconceived ideas of adoption. One of these ideas originated from the well-known and loved movie, Annie. Annie was an orphan chosen to spend time with a billionaire, Oliver Warbucks, and through her adventure, she ends up finding her forever home. The classic line, “I love you, Daddy Warbucks,” and the strong embrace of father and newly adopted daughter is a moment engrained in my mind and my first, but not last, false impression of adoption. These false ideas continued as I met more adoptive families and followed their journeys. There were smiles, love, laughter, and everything else that points to an easy and rewarding journey to adoption. I had always known that I wanted to be a part of this journey. Who wouldn’t want to be a part of providing for children in need and offering them the love they have always deserved but never experienced? I still feel this…strongly.  However, after our first adoption and now beginning another, I see things through a clearer and sometimes painful lens. Attachment is a word that was never frequently used in my vocabulary but at one point took over my book titles, Google searches, and daily conversations with […]

Continue Reading

Helicopter Child

Published on Makes You Mom The clock strikes 5:30. Sigh of relief: the finish line is just around the corner. My husband should be descending the steps of his office building, opening the entry door, and walking to his car. He will soon drive home and bring a long awaited release. I picture his arrival like a slow-motion movie, one that arouses anticipation. I’m ready to hide. Three-year-old Evelyn stands on a chair pretending she’s my hairdresser. She not so gently brushes and combs while her one-year-old brother eagerly makes his way across the creaky floors. When the door opens, he hopes to soar above his daddy’s head after being scooped up in an embrace. Seven, eight, nine minutes pass. The door handle begins to jiggle and turn. The man of the house enters, smiling, straight into a puddle of gratitude. Quickly waving hello, I welcome a break. A bedroom retreat awaits. Entering the dark room and gently shutting the door separates me from the expectations, the questions, and, most of all, the touch from the children on the other side. The white comforter becomes a cocoon. My body is mine for the next few minutes, and I feel free. No […]

Continue Reading

A Letter to Honor Birth Mothers

To my daughter’s birth mother: I think of you often. You are the woman who gave my daughter life; my first child who called me “mommy.” Bringing her into this world started the first chapter of a book my daughter can write because of you! And I am honored to be the one to read her story. I know what a mother’s heart feels, I remember the first day I met our sweet girl through a picture. Gratitude and joy overcame me. My heart knew we belonged together but was saddened by the reasons why. Adoption is like a painting of beautiful, bright colors. But what first existed underneath all the beauty is layers of darkness brushed against the clean, white canvas. The darkness symbolizes loss, isolation, and possibly abandonment. The longer you look, the more you see the dark spaces begging to be remembered and explored so the eye can go back to the beauty at the surface. Our little girl’s story mimics this painting. You gave her the white canvas and life circumstances gave her the darkness. A darkness she will one day grieve. Right now she is young and innocent. She is secure in the life she […]

Continue Reading